IT HAS BEEN 2 YEARS

WELL IT HAS BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE MY MOM PASSED AWAY FROM BREAST CANCER.IT HAS BEEN A LONG YEAR.THE LORD HAS WORKED IN MANY WAYS IN MY LIFE.I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD HAVE DONE THE THINGS HE HAS BUT HE HAS.IT WAS AFTER MY MOMS PASSING THAT HE SHOULD ME MANY THINGS.AT FIRST HE BROUGHT A DEAR FRIEND BACK IN TO MY LIFE.I HATE THAT IT TOOK THAT TO MAKE ME REALIZE SO MANY THINGS BUT IT DID.I HAD TO STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE MAKE MY MIND UP FOR ME.I HAD TO START LEANING ON GOD AND LISTING TO HIM DRAWING MY STRENGTH FROM HIM.WELL AFTER THE PASSING I WENT THREW THE DARKEST POINT OF MY LIFE.HERE I WAS A MOTHER OF 4 MY SON WAS ONLY 4 MONTHS OLD WHEN SHE PASSED.I WAS STILL NURSING HIM.WELL WHEN I STOPPED MAN DID MY EMOTIONS GO CRAZY.I HIT ROCK BOTTOM.I FLIPPED MY MARRIAGE WAS HANGING ON BY A THREAD.I HAD NO ONE TO TURN TO BUT THE LORD.WHEN MY MOM DIED A LOVE LEFT THIS WORLD LIKE I HAVE OR HAD EVER KNOWN IT WAS AN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.AND I SO LONGED FOR THAT LOVE. I WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING JUST TO BE ABLE TO CALL HER AND HERE HER SAY IT WILL ALL BE ALRIGHT . A LOT OF THE TIMES THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO HER WAS HER SAY THAT AND IT WAS LIKE I KNEW IT WOULD ALL BE ALL RIGHT.WELL AS THAT LONG YEAR WENT BY MY DEAR FRIEND CAME DOWN TO SEE ME SHE KNEW SOMETHING JUST WASN'T RIGHT AND KEEP SAYING THINGS AIN'T RIGHT.WELL SHE WAS RIGHT I HAD FEEL APART.I HAD GONE SO DEEP INTO DEPRESSION THAT I DIDN'T KNOW WERE TO BEGIN WELL I DIDN'T KNOW SHE HAD BEEN THERE BEFORE AND SHE HELPED ME ON THAT LONG JOURNEY TO RECOVERY.I DON'T THINK SHE WILL EVER KNOW WHAT SHE DID.I DID CALL THE DOC GOT SOME MEDS FOR A SHORT TIME AND WAS ON MY WAY TO SEEING THE LIGHT AGAIN.WELL WHEN SHE CAME DOWN MY HOUSE WAS IN A MESS I MEAN A MESS WE HAD TO LOAD HER TRUCK AND MINE WITH CLOTHES THAT HAD TO BE WASHED WE HAULED OFF 2 TRUCK LOAD OF JUNK.IT WAS BAD.THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD HAVE EVER DONE IT MAY SELF I WAS SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO EVERYTHING.IT TOOK SOME ONE WHO WASN'T TO HELP GET RID OF STUFF.WELL AFTER ALL THAT I FINALLY GOT DOWN WITH THE LORD AND JUST BALLED MY EYES OUT I LET MY ANGER MY HURT AND ALL COME OUT.WELL THE LORD WAS WORKING I JUST DIDN'T SEE IT.WELL THE LORD GAVE MY HUBBY A JOB TRAVELING AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE LIKE IS THAT GOOD WITH ALL THE PROBLEMS YOU ARE HAVING. ME I WAS LIKE YES I KNEW I HAD TO TRUST THE LORD.WELL DURING THAT HE SHOWED ME I ONLY HAD HIM AND THAT WAS IT.HE WAS MY EVERYTHING .WELL AS I WAS TRYING TO GROW IN THE LORD I WOULD GET KNOCKED DOWN .IT WAS HARD ME AND MY HUBBY WERE STILL FIGHTING LIKE CRAZY I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.WELL I REALIZED I WAS NOT FULLY TRUSTING THE LORD I SAID I WAS BUT I REALLY WASN'T. IT WAS THEN ONE LATE NIGHT I PRAYED TILL THE LORD SHOWED UP AND MAN DID HE EVER I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT NIGHT IT WAS AS CLOSE TO THE FEELING I HAD WHEN I GOT SAVED.IT WAS LIKE I AGED 10 YEARS IN MY WALK WITH THE LORD.AS I PRAYED THAT NIGHT THAT I WANTED THE LORD TO DO WHAT EVER IT TOOK TO GET MY FAMILY BACK ON TRACK.I BURIED IT ALL THAT NIGHT THE HURT FEELINGS ALL THE WRONGS EVERYTHING FROM THE PAST IT WAS FINALLY PUT TO REST.WERE BEFORE I THOUGHT I WAS BURRING IT BUT I WAS ONLY LEAVING THE TOP PART IN THE GROUND WHEN I WOULD WALK AWAY I WOULD GRAB WHAT WAS STICKING OUT AND STICK IT IN MY BACK POCKET SO TO SPEAK. I FINALLY BURIED IT.AND MAN THE DIFFERENCE IT MADE.WELL I BETTER GET OFF AND GO TO BED I WILL FINISH THE REST OF THE 2 YEAR JOURNEY LATTER .STAY TUNED TO SEE WHAT GOD DID NEXT IN MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY.