PART 6 THE FINAL DAYS

i will go with her till she meets Him.every morn i see her sitting up smiling out the window she says she talked with the Lord.Oh how it brings a smile to my face.things start to go down .AS i wash her and i clean the tumors my heart breaks.as i so carefully clean these tumors i hate them so and yet i have to treat them with the care of a newborn baby.my mom would Lay there and rub her hands up and down her chest not touching it just over it begging me to cut them out she would cry they burn they burn.please cut them out.All i could do was beg God please make them stop.I wanted to make them stop so bad here i am fighting inside against something i can not control in any way.you could put you hand above her chest and feel the heat coming from the tumors.My moms breast cancer was a rare aggressive kind she was blessed to have fought it for 3 years.It came to the surface and would bust open she said her chest felt like some one had a blow torch in there.the tumors had taken over they were from her neck down to her waste and had started to move to her shoulders and down her back.her chest looked like burnt leather.i wish i could have took the pain away.It got to were we could no longer control it at home and we were able to get her in to a hospice group.They came to get her and that was the last time she was able to speak to me and she looked into my eyes and it was like our souls were talking she said I'm scared!!!That killed me you don't think at 27 you will have to hear your mom say in voice so soft and pure almost pure like a child's I'm scared and see that it is coming straight from the soul.No one was riding with her she was alone.And i had promised her i would be there.SO there was a war going on inside of me.Needles to say all this had been going on for a week. June the 26 she went into the hospital and came home that Friday and was with me from Friday till Wednesday when she left to go to hospice.When i got to the place they had her on a pump for the pain and she was out.she tried and tried to open her eyes and couldn't at one point she did and was able to mumble she loved me.Then back out she went.As i sit beside her cleaning the tumors they are making me sick its like they were multiplying.i payed and prayed God you have to something i could not take any more.But as i prayed that i still did not want to let go.That was my momma she was 51 she was not suppose to die i was suppose to have my momma till i got old.Well fin aly on that Friday I came to a place with the Lord it was right after lunch i sat there wiping the blood from my moms mouth her lungs were feeling up fast.It was then That the Lord showed up I had begged him to heal her and i believed he would i just wanted it to be on this side and not in Heaven but he thought Heaven was a better place to heal her .So you see she git her healing it was just as she went to meet Jesus he gave her a new body.NO cancer up there IT was gone he had won the Battle against it up in heaven .Okay i prayed at that moment Lord i can t do this Any more i Let her go i told her it was okay to go i would be okay.