How do you move on??????

Okay this is a question i have that is very deep I guess you could say. I have been struggling with some things well many things that I have been keeping to my self.Things that I have not wanted others to know. So these are the questions or the problems how ever you want top look at it. It has really been hard from a christian stand point. You see all the preaching I hear says you stay married. As they preach they all say that it has been straight hard preaching that has keep them coming home to there wives every night that it has been the word of God that has keep them faithful. It has been God that has keep them from drinking and parting and saying hurt full things. I so see that. you see since the day I got saved I know not to talk to other men i know that not going to church makes you weak. That when you don't feed your soul your flesh can take over. Once you get saved there are things you just don't do or want to do. So when you and your spouse have both been in church under the same preaching how can you see or do some things i wander.every time i hear the preacher preach about how you just don't do somethings it makes me look back at the past few years and i say how could my spouse do some of the things that he has. It brings up the whole hurt thing again. you see a year ago we were so going to get a divorce and somethings happened and as i hear the man of God preach it makes me question how could this have happen is my hubby lost? He says no he is saved so i just don't understand. I so seem to not be able to get over somethings that have happened i have prayed and prayed and it seems to be getting worse. I m so struggling with the things that have happened that past 13 years. Not only on his part but mine also. I don't want this to hurt us both what do you do i have read and prayed and then the preacher preaches and i start to think why its like it brings it back up again i just don't understand. how do i move on?

The talk

yeah we had a nice long talk today. Did we get any were not really sure. He says he will miss no more birthdays and will not be gone on the week-ends. I told him I hope so. I was getting very tired. So we will see if he means it. I so want believe it is almost Christmas man this month flew by. It is hard to believe we are almost in the year 2008. I cant believe how time goes by.Jeannie when you read this i will go into so much more latter with you. I did not cry. Just keep praying. Well i don't know if i will get a chance to blog much seeing how my hubby is home and it is almost Christmas.

Home where is Home?

okay I have been watching the movies that are like the best ever. They are Love come softly, Loves abiding joy, Loves enduring promise, Loves long journey, Loves unending legacy, Loves Unfolding Dream. These are such awesome love stories. In one of the movies the little boy said this is not home and the mom told him home is were you are always welcome and are never alone. So i started to think were do I feel at home at. A place that I feel safe and welcome were I am so happy to get to well that place is church. How great is that to feel you are at home when you show up there. That is how I feel. I'm not alone when I'm at church and right now it seems that i am alone a lot. That is my safe haven. I love being there. Not only does my soul get feed but I get some of the companionship that i miss so much since my husband is gone so much. Which I am glad I am getting it from church and no were else. This blogging thing has been helping me also get some of my feelings out. It is helping me to see who I am and who I want to be. I think that if people get there feeling s out and are honest even when it hurts. They grow by leaps and bonds. We can only grow and be happy when we are open and honest about it all. I think so many people hide how they feel or what they want because of pride or not wanting to except what has happened. So they lie to them selves and others of fear of hurting someone when in the end they hurt them selves. This is kinda were I'm at right now I'm very confused about so many things but i know that no matter what others the church or my kids or spouse think. i must be true to who i am and what i want. And when i am there i will find happiness.

Why are men so dumb?????

Please some one answer what goes on in there thick heads? Is there any one out there who has a traveling spouse and goes threw what i am going threw? Is it me? I just don't get it. I so want to handle this in a Biblical way and it is making it so hard on me. I want to be in the center of Gods will. I m so scared what if i make the wrong decision? What do you do i have prayed and prayed and it seems to be getting worse it is taking its toll on me as a wife ,mother, friend,and woman.what do you do . I just want to be happy and loved and have some one to be there no matter what to know where I stand on there to do list so to speak. Are all men like that do they just write about those guys that call you just to say hey or those that will give it all up just to be with you or is it only in love stories. I need help in so many ways.

How Can you go all day with out talking to the ones you love?

I just dont get it my husband travels a lot as you most know and he can go all day till night time till he talks to us. How is that I just don't get it. I talked with him last night around 9 and i have tried to call him twice today no answer of course. It is almost 6 here and that means it is around 5 there and no answer as always. I will no here from him until tonight after he goes out to eat with the guys and then comes in to his hotel room. Who can go all day like that if you are in love with someone you would want to know that all was okay at home before it had been 24 hours. This is so pushing me to my point of no return!!!!! I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb. I so can not take this any more !!!!!!!!!!!!

Marriage What is a Marriage?

What is a marriage i ask. So many people have different ides of what on is. My idea is a marriage is a team effort. It is not only good times but bad times to. it is a dance so to speak. You see we all grow at different speeds and when you get married you start the dance. one speeds up the other must change there tempo or you are all out of wack. The most part of marriages can adjust there tempos to get back to the same beat. What if you cant get the same tempo what do you do. Life is a dance. i remember a country song from back in the day called that life is a dance you learn as you go and it is so true. Marriage is so much more than the big events you know holidays, birthdays ,having babies ,buying a home and so on. It is those everyday things. The look you give one another that says so much with out saying a word. Or that touch that makes your heart melt. The call that you get threw out the day that is to just check on you. the call,because the other one just cant go more than a few hours with out knowing you are okay. A marriage is when you can sit down and say hey I'm struggling with this and they say hey don't worry we will get threw it it will all be okay. A marriage is not going 8 plus hours and not talking to each other. a marriage is not sitting there quietly when the other calls with bad news. A marriage is so much more. A marriage is not about sex it is so much more. You know that you have a great marriage when if you were no longer able to have an intimate relationship that you would be okay because you have a COMPANIONSHIP.

What I Want

A friend of mine had blogged with this title and man did it home with me. You see it really got me to thinking. I want a companion some one to talk to and laugh with someone to cry with and pray with. That's what I want. I get so tired of being alone. I'm always alone its just me and my kids. I have a friend who's husband calls her all the time he calls as soon as she gets off the bus as soon as she does anything and as we were talking it was like that is what a companion is.He calls even while he is on the job he has to talk to her 4 or more times a day. I go all day with out talking to mine i call and always get the voice mail i have even told him call at this time because i would be going to the doc or something and i would not get a call so i would call him and no answer as always. I cant stand not having a companion to talk with I depend so much on my friends and my kids.So all i want is a companion.

Alvin and the chimpmunks

I took the kids to go see this movie today and it gets a 5 star. We laughed so hard. I cant wait till i can buy it.You all must go see this movie.




Christmas parties


man I have had way to many and of course as all ways it is me taking the kids by my self.so i run back to our church to take the kids to theres go to a friends to have a cup of coffee then off to pick the kids back up then run back to Charlotte for my Christmas party.The ladies in my housing development get to gather once a month to cut up and have fun.we had a ball and as always my dh is gone It has been really bothering me how much he is gone. It as if he is a ghost husband. And we will go Christmas shopping all by ourselves with out my hubby tomorrow. oh boy what fun!!!!sometimes i wish he would just say i have to find another job i cant take missing anymore of my kids or my wifes life.

My husband sent me this and it is so funny

My boxer!

I have never seen a dog that is a chocohloc this dog is so into anything sweet.She goes crazy if you are eating anything sweet she will bark at you until you give her some.My oldest daughter was eating oreos and she was going crazy well then she came over here to me sniffing for them so i gave her one and she was so happy she ate it and then crawled up on the bed and is in heaven.Last night we got oreos and the kids left them out and she ate them all so i got some more and seeing her go crazy for them made me laugh so hard.If we go get krispy kreams she is the same way .This dog loves sweets anything sweet she wants and beggs for.I have nevr seen a dog like that.

The results are in!!!

I had my biopsy tuesday and i got the results today it is a fibroid tumor that is NON cancers.Praise the Lord.I did make it to church last night and i Thought I would die I was in so much pain by the time services was over I was almost in tears.I will be glade when the stiches come out.God is so good even when i fell him he still is good.I must say even if the results would have been the other way I could have still said he is good.As you walk with the Lord it is amazing hoe he shows you things sometimes i wonder why.Then he reminds me we have free will so when we do make the wrong dessions He will be there when we make the right.I want to give God my all everthing about me in so many ways i want my family to be all Gods.It may be hard to do with my hubby alwats away and not able to go to church.I trust the Lord what ever he sees fit he will aloww.I feel so thankful for what God has done for me.

A travleing spouse!!!!!!!!

AS some of you may have known from my past blogs my hubby travels a whole lot. So I'm a single mom in many ways and it is so taking its toll on me!!! It has been a year and a half since he got the job. It is like every thing that happens in this family he is always gone so I'm left to deal with it all by my self.It gets so lonely at times i wake up alone and go to bed alone. Then when he is home i want some me time I'm so ready for a break from being the mom and dad there is no me and him. The kids miss him so much so when he is home i want him to be with them ! they are only young once and they need this time with there dad. It is so crazy they say a broken home hurts the kids well mine is not a broken home but in many ways it is. When he is home it is him and the kids i kinda step back when he is gone it is me and the kids. we are on such different pages. He is so tired when He comes homes. which i can see why.Then there is the whole church thing he is never with me there and it bothers me so bad.I would sell everything we have to have that on fire for the Lord family.The only problem is he loves his job he is so happy there he loves what he does. Which is great I'm so happy that he finally has a job he loves but it is costing us our very family.I think about the kids in so many ways they are growing up with out there dad. He misses the every day things. It is so hard i feel a lone in so many ways.We have been threw so much in our marriage and i feel as if we are not married any more we are room mates and i know that is not how God wants it. I try to say something to him but he says you want me to quit my job. It seems like we are growing in different directions he wants different things then i do. I look at what will we do when the kids are gone if he is still traveling i guess i will stay with my kids. What kind of life is that? He says he is happy and i don't get it how can you be happy when you are never at home?I think at times is that why he is happy he is not here every day to have to do the things we do that get you all crazy.When he is home for more than a few days he gets so irritable. How do you handle it . It gets so discouraging.

awesome song

getting to know you

Directions! Now, Here Is What You Are Supposed To Do...And Please Do Not Spoil The Fun!
Copy & Delete My Answers And Type In Your Answers. Then Post to Your BLOG.
Let me know so I can See Your Answers too! The Theory Is That You Will Learn A Lot or Little Known Facts About Those You Know or dont. . Remember To let me know.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?my dad
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME . YOU CRIED?last night at church
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?no
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?Ham
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?yes 4
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?sure would
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?you bet i do
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?sure and they hurt right now!
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?no way
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?frosted flakes
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?no
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?no it depends
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?tcby
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?shoes
15. RED OR PINK?red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?worry
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?my mama
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?i do
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?none im in my pjs.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?meatloaf
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?the kids
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?Purple
23. 2 FAVORITE SMELLS?fresh cut grass
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?my hubby
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?i do
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?ufc and the cowboys stink!!!!
27. HAIR COLOR?brown
28. EYE COLOR?blue green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?yeap
30. FAVORITE FOOD?to many to list
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?happy endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?barbie island princess
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?my hubbys blue t shirt
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?Spring & Fall
35. HUGS OR KISSES?huggs
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?to many
37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?having a mary heart in a martha world
38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?none i have a lap top
39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT?no tv for me yesterday
40. FAVORITE SOUND?rain storm
41. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?neither simion and garfunkle
42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?new york
43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?sure do
44.Where were you born.shelby

Work

Since I have started teaching I think i have lost my mind. The kids love going to school with me and Get a big kick out of it.

Christopher wrote a j in cursive today. I'm so proud since he is only 2.Bethany is doing great Still cant get over 4 year old writing in cursive.

got some of the Christmas shopping done.This weekend while Chris was home.hope to post more this weekend.

Why oh Why

Why is it that one thing happens it seems to cause a train of events. It seems like you get your head above water and a down poor comes.I think one of the biggest problems is money and alot we just do our self. Last month we had a very high power bill 900 bucks it was for both houses. Along with thanksgiving dinner well that took all our money.Then it made going into DEC tight now it is the car needs a new rim the oil needs changed,and we need to get Christmas shopping done.To top it all off my hubby is out of town.Which is a good thing but a bad you see Prayed that the Lord would help and he did he gave my hubby the chance to make extra money.So i see God is working but he cant get the money till he gets back which will be after Christmas.I guess I'm worrying about nothing because it is only the first i have 22 days for him to make a way.

Craft day

Today was such a busy day. We had a craft day for all the home schooled. It was so fun!!! We made home made hot coco and bagged it up to put in Christmas mugs to give to the elderly. The small kids made snow men Christmas balls for there trees,And they all painted these little figurines and the they all painted there faces.It was such a nice day the kids done so good and had so much fun.We also got all our stuff together for Christmas caroling.



My dh is still out of town and I'm so ready for him to come home. I am so ready to get this month over with. I hope that next year I can be better prepared for Christmas.It seems like after thanksgiving everything gets rushed and you are running 90 miles a min. Trying to balance all this is killing me.I feel like I just cant rest.There is this party and that party and family to go to and shopping to do and crowds to face and bills to pay. I wish it was like it was when I was young.It seemed so simple back then. We all have Sunday school party's so that is 5 different parties. Then there is the home school party then the woman super club party.Way to busy this month.

T.V

Why does t.v cost so stinking much. We did the whole bundle thing and it was 125 a month we were okay well it is not at 150 a month so with the cell phone bill added that is 220 a month.I called my hubby and said we have got to do something there is so much more we can be doing with that money.Well all of a sudden we see the TV adds saying all TV will be digital so what does that mean from what we here that means no rabbit ears yoy will have to have a dish or cable.we don't use the home phone much.We have to have the Internet.It is now my mission to find a way i can cut this bill 150 a month is crazy.I think that if they are changing to were rabbit ears want work then basic cable should be free at every home. They don't have to add the fancy channels just the basic should be free and at every home.If we understand it right we could be wrong.still T.V cost way to much.

Im Give Out

Man what a week.I feel like I need a vacation. We had a great Thanksgiving. Now its time to get ready for Christmas.It is such a Gloomy day here. makes me want to curl up with a bowl of soup and read a good book. I feel like a have a list a mile long.

What a Day.

Well I did get a lot done. I did get my stairs cleaned and 4 loads of cloths washed.Cooked diner started in my room and bathroom.So in the morn i need to mop and finish the clothes, ans scrub the bathrooms.I will start cooking in the morn too. It looks like it will be another busy day. It is a never ending job around here.You get things all nice looking and then you have to start all over you never can just sit back and enjoy it. No matter how hard I try.I guess as a friend of mine says the circl of life.

It's Monday Already.

Man did that week just zoom by.I'm sure this one will to with it being Thanksgiving. I have so much to do this week. Ihave a ton of cooking i need to do. Shopping that needs to be done house work that needs to be done. I want to get the bathroom down stairs painted before thursday it really could use some paint since it is the bath room all the guest will use.Can i get all that done in the next 3 days. Oh and we went to the old haouse and packed suff up so i have some unpacking to do.we are hoping on going to the old hous after thanks giving and finish getting all he stuff out. So maybe by Christmas we will be done moving.we have been moving for a little over 3 months working on 4 and we still havent finished it. Well I better go i have so much to get done i have got to get it organized and get with it i hope to have the house cleaned and all the laundry done and unpacking done by in the morn.we will see if i get done. Maybe my friend who has so much energy will rubof on me.hehehe

Were did the time go????

How did the day just fly by? I got up when my hubby left for work blogged a little got the kids up at 9 let them eat and watch a cartoon then we started school work.Talked with the doc about my breast i go Wensday to have it checked. A little scared after all my mom went threw it is a little scary but I trust the Lord If he takes me down that road i know he will be there with me.The pain is getting UN real I did seem to manage to get more done today with the pain even if I'm eating Advil like candy. Well after school we cleaned the down stairs now its time for the upstairs and laundry i look at the time and it is 4:30 were has the day gone its time to start dinner.Then i will have to clean downstairs again.

Getting Old

Why is it that when you start to age things start to change so much? I don't mind the whole getting old thing at all.I just wander why does every thing kinda go south pain takes over hormones go crazy. Why oh Why i ask. Hormones are killing me mine are all gone and I'm just about to hit 30 i knew from a young age i would have problems seeing how at 23 they wanted to take all my female organs out and i refused i wanted more kids.Well now i still don't want them to after all the things i have been reading.I started having these awful pains in my breast i mean they feft like they were busting open and leaking stuff like when i nursed my kids. I woke up Sunday morn at 4 am and thought i was dying I stayed in bed all day just the gravity pull hurt so bad.and here it is 8 am Monday and I'm still on my back. I just cant seem to get warm that is until i have a good ole hot flash.Why is it that as you get older you cant seem to get warm.Her i sit with leggings socks and a coat on under the covers and I'm still freezing. Is it an age thing? I'm going to have to go get me some sweat pants to were around the house. You see i only were skirts in the house i do were pj's a few years ago i got ride off all my pants. Last week when me and my hubby went out i wore a pair of knee socks leggings a slip knee boots and a skirt along with a sweater ans a shirt under it and was still cold.I know a lot of women as they get or got older the cold weather killed them tehy had a hard time staying warm. Sometimes it gets so bad that once i get warm i don't want to move.But there is always a few days a month were i have hot flashes so bad i cant get cool. So for about 5 days a month i stay hot the rest i freeze half to death.



Schooling the girls

Okay it is hard doing all the kids it was so easy when it was just one of them.I feel like a failur at times that they are going to be dumb.My second grader is doing wanderful i wander if hers is to easy she is just zooming threw her work. I still worry will she know all she needs to she is a very very smart girl when she was in school she was tested and was one of the gifted children.My 6th grader on the other hand it is like pulling teeth she hates to do her school work she gets more spankings for that then any thing.is it that hard for other homeschoolers of many kids or is it just us. I feel like it is a constant battle.The othere day we wer trying to get school work done and they were fighting so i sent one to the dininng room the other was at the kitchecn table and tehy still were fighting yelling tell her to stop reading out loud and so on i was ready to run away so then i sent them to there rooms to finish school work.It is weeks like that i hate it makes me start to doubt homeschooling am i cute out for this. Then i have mom of 2 kids say its not hard i want to say you try doing 4 kids at a time i mean gee i have a 6th grader a second grader and a pre k 4 and then a 2 and a half year old running around acting crazy. So you can see it has been one of those weeks were i start thinkingg maybe it would be better if i put them back in school. Then God says no you will find what works just hold on cast your net one more time you all know the story when he told them to cast and they did after fishing all day and getting nothingh and when they did as the Lord asked they did catch some.Maybe it is the school books we use i ahve to find what works best with us i do belive i will be going back to landmark .That seems to be a great set for people who have many kids they are trying to school at one time.

Church

Man what a service we had!!! It is is wonderful when God shows up. I still stand amazed at how when you are going threw things and talking with the Lord he always sends a message your way to either show you that you are on the right road or you need to do some readjusting. As in on of my othere post i ahve been on this thing of restoring not being so judge meantal and bam our preacher preaches on 2nd chance christian are not 2nd class christians!!! Man it was so good. As i have been reading in the Bible even those that were great men and woman of God felled him The Lord did not turn his back on them . Then the preacher hits all that in the message. I cried like a baby God had been showing up around the house this week in diffrent ways and it had been a weepy week already. So to get there and have God fill the church house man it was so good. Im so far from were i want to be. I do know that one day i will be there it may only happen when i get to heaven and i no longer have this flesh at any rate it will be so sweet. God is so good. I do not deserve what he has done. I have feeled him in so many ways. Over the past few years i have been threw it. I can say i wouldnt change a thing to have what i have now. I have a great hubby one that loves me a whole bunch and i know not only because he tells me or shows me but i feel it. Some times it seems so sureal here we are happy a nice home it almost seems perfect. I keep waiting for it to fall apart. I often ask is this real? @ years agao i would have never thought us being were we are. Now if the whole extended family and oyr family church walk would get to were it use to be man it would just be heaven.My hubby travles alot and doestn get to go much. I just would to see him fall so inlove with the Lord that it is all he breaths i know that it will happen just in Gods time not mine. I praise God for they day when he calls me from out of town and says i was praying and God said or i was in the bible reading and God showed me.I do see how he is working on the extended family also. I was able to finally say how i felt to them and it was such a burden let loose. I now can only pray that God will put us were and how he wants us. I ask me hubby ever time i talk have you talk to your sis or dad Im trying to let him be the one that does it he needs that closens and i think it will all fall in place as long as i pray and trust God to do the work.so far God has been doing a Great job.After i let it all out of how i felt the next message at church was about family and how that is all you got out side of church you are to love them protect them even when there down or wrong cause those are the ones that will be there win all the others leave you. Well thats about it for now.

Going to Walmart!!!!!!!

I hate going there. I mean hate it. We had to go get a few things and i came out so down i always spend way to much. I made a list before i went we had to get razors, toliet paper,dish soap,dish washer soap,sandwich stuff,and some breakfast things,soap for the bath rooms. I got the girls some long sleved plain t shirts for the winter they were on sale for 4 bucks. i spent over 200 bucks. I hate that store you can never get out of there cheap. Why is that? They are so much cheaper on things like razors and soaps and stuff. I so hate shopping sometimes. When there are things you still need to get and you have a 200 or more bill already.I think for now on im going to go to target even if it is a little more.

Catching Up With Friends What a Blessing from The LORD

Man it is so nice when you can just chat with a good friend.All you need some times is someone to just chat with. It is such a blessing from the Lord.God is so good to us not only is he there for us he sends us blessing on earth in the form of a thing we call Freinds. It is all ways nice to chat But when it is with a Godly friend.It is like a recharge. As moms we carry such a load and it is so nice to have and to know that there is someone out there with the same issues and struggle you have.You then soon relize you both have the same Goal in mind and that it is to honor the Lord.

Whats your day like?

So how does your day run? Do you have a set schedule or do you do what ever?well foe ME i believe in a schedule but over the past year i have so not been on one and it has showed up on me!! I feel as if when you do go by a schedule you get so much more done.The hard part is getting back on a schedule.They say it takes 21 days to change a habit.Is it true i wander? I so want to start doing better i can see such a difference in the kids and my self.I do believe that you must revise your schedule accordingly.AS they kids grow and things change in your life you must be flexible.I want to start a new schedule come Monday I just don't know were to start it was so easy when all the kids were little now that i have a 11 year old 8,4,and 2 and a half they all need different things.so how do i come up with one that will work for all?Maybe i can talk my dh into helping me.He often thinks I'm nuts.why do you need that he thinks it all so simple you get up school the kids clean the house cook dinner pay all the bills and run to any appts the kids have along with having all the kids in bed and be ready for him by 10 at the latest.Man i wish it was that easy with a schedule yes it can be done.i will post one and see how it works.The Goal is to keep the house in tip top shape food in the fridge bills paid and kids in bed early and school work done and to get myself to bed early.Will it happen i guess we will wait and see.

Books I'm Reading

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.


Man this is a good book. As a mom of 4 amd a wife I get way to busy.Sometimes it is out of poor time managment other times its just not enought hours in a day. I feel as if I get so wrapped up in everything around that I put the Lord last. Why is that? I love the Lord dearly. I just get so busy running around then I feel so guilty and disapontied in my self at the end of the day. I found this book and man does it hit home! Every woman needs to read this book.I'm only 1/4 of the way in it but man oh man it is so good.You know when you start to get into reading the bible and books about it you find that the problems we face today they faced so many years ago also.You see that all of Jesus followers had diffrent weekness and strenghts. You have Mary mild and meek a humble woman a woman we all want to be like.Then busy Martha who runs around like a mad woman trying to do it all barking orders and complain why aint any one helping me. Then you have Paul a man that would fight for the Lord. He was an intense man but yet he deined the lord 3 times.David a man that was lustful you know the man you dont want living next door to ya if your hubby travles alot.When you start getting into the Bible you see tehre are so many people that Loved the Lord.They all had there weekness you start to see the only one who was sinless was Jesus. He loved the sinners and threw that we see how He chnaged people and restored them.He never kicked them while they were down or turned His back on them.He restored them !!! If all christians would get that one lesson that he taught restore thy brother. I feel we wouldnt have so many fall by the side.

Sleep!! What is Sleep?

Do you ever miss that sleep you got when you were a child? You know the kind where when your head hits the pillow you are off in lala land and you dont wake up at all till the sun comes up.Then you get up and you feel so well rested? Man do I miss those days!!!! Why is it that the older you get the less you sleep? That is my favorite thing to do. I cant explain it but I love to sleep i just miss that good deep sleep i use to get. Now I cant make it threw a night with out waking up 3 or 4 times.

UP AND RUNNING AGAIN AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!

I finaly have a lap top so i can get back on line.We have moved and it has been so crazy!We are still moving for the most part we are moved in.For school we are doing okay.Still have some work to do on schedualing.We are getting there slowly.Have you ever had the mom blahs.

Day 2

Man was it a day!!!!!!!!!! We did get started at 8 today.I started with math since we did not do it yesterday.Katelyn had 21 problems to do and it took her 2 hours i was so mad.she wants to do math last.I know why now.She knows that by the end of the day it is to crazy and it want get done.She even said let me do math for home work!HAHAHAHAHA.She knows that around 2:00 it gets crazy here getting ready for dinner and startinng to get things done before hubby gets home.So i started with math.I dont know if i should make her do it first or what she hates math.After saying how much she loves it.The rest is going great But math is the kicker.Here is a list of what we are doing.

1 abeka english

2 abeka math

3 abeka reading

4 abeka spelling/spelling time I'm combining to make my own

5 abeka writing

6 The Narrow Way Bible

7 Personal help for Girls. Growing Godly Women

8 Pearabls Home economics for the home schooler

Math is the main thing we struggle with she wants it to be easy.I just dont know what to do about math everything else she gets done fast and does great at it.I have prayed Lord show me what to get her.And the neon sign has not been given to me yet.Should i go back a few grades she knows the stuff she just dont like the time it takes she keep saying what is this what is that.This takes to long this is to hard.when i would go what is such and such she would give the right answer as long as i aske her every step .i was so mad it taken 2 hours.

First Day

Well it has been awhile since i have blogged there has been so much going on with the house and getting ready for school.we started today.we didnt do a full load we did get these subjects done.

1.Bible
2.Reading
3.spelling
4.English.Language arts
5.Home Economics

tommorow we will be adding math and writing.For the first few weeks we will not be doing science or history we will be starting them in a few weeks.We are doing a big Kick off for science we are going to go to the body works at the discovery place.Our first field trip for the year.It is crazy getting in the swing of things.We did get started at 8:30 i was so happy!I hope it goes well the rest of the week.I hope to post at least once a week.

Im still here.

So it has been a while since i have blogged.Why you ask well it has been a rough few days.My dh had to leave after only being home 2 days so that so bummed me out.We have been in the middle of looking for a home.It has been fun and scary I just want to run away far away.Change is hard and scary.You want to and then you get scared. what if i don't like it.We need more space.What if we end up hating the area.I'm not as worried about me as i am my dh.he is one that doesn't like change.Who knows maybe with all this traveling he has done he has seen another side out there other then this small country town .He maybe ready to go more than i think he is.Some times i just want to walk away from it all and start over.is there any one else out there that ever feels that way?We are looking at moving to the big city.I look at it from a point of there are so many more things to do since i do home school there is so much more going on to take the kids to.As i have looked at the homes i have seen there are so many home school's there.I miss my dh so bad I'm not getting to talk to him and i hate it.i have been so down in the dumps i don't want to get out of bed.I want him home so bad i wish i could at least talk to him for more than a good night love you and that's it.I don't know what it is that has gotten into me it seems like i cant get nothing done i mean nothing I'm in slow mode.I wish i could snap out of it.you know some times i want to just drop it all and leave start a whole new life.I just don't know were all this is coming from I have a great hubby and we are happy well i know i am with him. we have a great church .God is so there.Great kids.Just a dead dried up town.Is it because my dh has been gone alot and i just need to see him more.is it that I'm couped up in this small home with 4 kids and no were to put stuff and nothing to go do.What is the Lord doing i wander.I know he has already done so much he has gave me a love like i have never known.The best part is if we move to the big city we will still be able to go to our church.I wish some times i could blink my eyes and it all be done the house picked the bags packed and it all be done.It has scared me in the fact i worry what if i pick the wrong house. we have found well i have found 5 i like a lot. they all are different in size some new some not they are all with in 15 mins of each other. just different developments.as i look at them .which one do i want ones bigger but then the other is new but which housing development do you want. I'm so scared at making the wrong dission.looking at the out side they are all nice some a Little nicer and then the others are bigger. i Can see us all living in all of them but which one will be the best this is such a scary thing. I'm afraid what if i pick the wrong home .go with the nicer looking outside but smaller in side or the average out side but larger in side.what to do what to do.

My man is home.

I still feel icky but I'm so glad that he is home.it was so nice to get a big hug from him.I really missed him.Why well hes mine all mine.I have been with him way to long and i could not even think about life with out him.Just knowing he is here makes a world of difference even if he is in there with the kids playing the play station it is giving me a time to blog.We have talked about selling our home and getting a bigger one.I love my home i love the area.Just not enough room we have 4 kids in a 3 bed room home and it is packed to the top i get rid of stuff but there seems to never be enough room.I just cant believe he suggested it.You see my hubby is not one that like change at all he will stay in one place for ever it was only by the Grace of God we moved to our home from our double wide.He would have never changed jobs if it wouldn't have been for them shutting down.so it is a shock when he suggest us looking at moving so I'm all on that.I know he sees the space thing is a big problem and It affects me the most it is hard to keep a tidy home when you have no were to put stuff.My dear friend had came over to pick her kids up and i finally told her we were looking and thinking and she said about time you rally do need more space.She has never said anything about my home and she is here all the time and she even sees it is pretty small.three kids would be pushing it but 4 well that done it on the room space.I'm a Little scared what if we cant get approved or what if they say lease option i just don't want to get my hopes up.We always have the holidays at our home and it is packed i could only dream this year having a big room for every one to enjoy there self in and be able to walk and sit down.I'm just scared I'm going to be let down and wish i would have never started looking.I do love my home we have been remodeling and it is nice very nice just small.We talked about building on well the only prob is we would never be able to sale it would put us over the value of our home area.SO i guess i will just trust the Lord and my dh to what he says.

I feel so icky

So i start out the day just so blah.My 2 girls had friends stay with them last night and they had a ball stayed up half the night.They did not go to sleep till 3 in the morn.they were just laying there giggling and telling stories they were no trouble at all.But Me well i was about to fall over dead I'm one of those who cant go to sleep till my kids are a sleep.i would start to drift off and id hear them snickering in there rooms.it made me think back to when i was a child and would stay up half the night.I finally went in there a little after 3 and they were all a sleep thank the Lord.I get up this morning and they all eat and hit the pool i think well i will be able to clean while they are out there.Ha i got dressed and start on my room my dh is on his way home so i like the bed room to look nice so he can come and relax in his own room.Well i strip the bed and bam i start feeling sick.Not now i have way to much to get done i want my dh to come home to peace and relax in his home.Why does this happen why oh why i wander.well as i pray God please help me I need you to pull me threw and its like he said if you would stop putting things off and do them when i tell you to you could just go lay down and rest.Man did that hit me in the face.He was right you see i was suppose to have done my room Tuesday and i didn't and wensday i did some and now here it is Thursday and i feel like i can crawl back in bed and stay there for a while.

Pastor Jack Hyles couldnt have said it better myself

You can name anything you want to name, but I am opposed to anything in the world that de-emphasizes the line of difference between the sexes. I believe that ladies ought to be feminine and sweet and lovely and charming. I believe men ought to be strong and masculine and decisive. I’m opposed to anything that makes a man and a woman act alike, look alike, dress alike, or talk alike."

-Pastor Jack Hyles (quote taken from Dr. Hyle's sermon, Unisex)

I only wish i could be a true proverbs 31 woman

AS i have read about it and what the Bible says it is a hard thing to do .Im so far from it and as i read it shows me how far i have to go to get there.It also shows me how far i have came.If woman would get back to the old ways man there would be so many more home that would stay togather and not be raising kids from diffrent homes.

Proverbs 31 the rest of it.

She has EARNED the right to relax and enjoy the fruits of her labors. Many wives are bums, having a welfare mentality, parasiting off their husbands. This is very wrong. A Proverbs 31 woman wants to work with her husband, to make the marriage and family something to be proud of.

Let me also add here at the end of our discussion, that the advice given from Verse 10 through 31 was NOT given to a woman; BUT, to a man, king Lempel (Verse 1). It was advice from a wise mother, given to her son to help him choose the best wife to marry. Perhaps we should call this passage of Scripture, the Proverbs 31 man, since it is advice given to man. Carefully notice the warnings about alcohol given to the husband in Verses 1-9. No alcohol-drinking man deserves a Proverbs 31 wife. Why should he have a good wife to beat, and be abusive to her? So many men who drink beer, live in sin, avoid church, curse in God's name, and chase women...wonder why they can't find a decent wife. Solomon didn't write Proverbs 31. Solomon never could find the woman of his dreams (Ecclesiastes 7:28). Why? Because Solomon had a reputation, a very bad one. All his wives were the lazy whores who wanted his money...take care of us Solomon...and we'll give you the sex you want. Solomon had many lovers; but, he couldn't find the godly wife that he so much desired. Solomon tried to seduce the beautiful Shulamite girl in Song of Solomon; but, she wisely turned him down, and for good reason. Solomon here represents Satan, who tries to seduce us away from Christ.

This whole Chapter describes a woman who loves her husband and children with all her heart, and works to give them the best. Jesus said that all of the Bible is fulfilled in two commands (Matthew 22:38-40): 1) Love God with all thy heart, 2) Love thy neighbor as thyself. Also, in Galatians 5:14. The woman who loves her husband and family doesn't need books, educational courses, or helps. Through DESIRE, she will become everything that her family needs her to be (Proverb 18:1). It's certainly acceptable for a wife to read helpful books, gaining insight from other women who have already proven themselves godly mothers; BUT, it is not necessary. The Word of God is the only Book we need. All the books, videos, and college courses in the world mean nothing if a wife and mother doesn't care.
In conclusion, there is no such thing as a perfect wife, or husband. The key to happiness in a marriage is two people who are mutually committed to making the marriage a success. Many marriages are lopsided, where one spouse shirks their responsibilities, and the other is continually getting upset because of it. This is unfair. A happy marriage requires a team effort between husband and wife. Many husbands are brute tyrants, who won't allow their wives to live. This is true of religious men especially, who are taught that the wife is supposed to be submissive to her husband. Although the Word of God certainly does set forth the man as the head of his household, it doesn't give him any right to be unkind or abusive towards his wife. Many Christian wives are slaves to a religious jerk. I say this kindly. I believe that God wants every wife to be as the woman in Proverbs 31; but, God also expects every husband to be as the husband in Ephesians 5:25-33. Every husband should be an Ephesians 5 man.

Proverbs 31

She has concern for the less fortunate. This does not mean that she endangers herself by going into bad neighborhoods. It simply means that she donates her time and money (if she can) to help the poor; but, her family always comes first. No mother should ever help others before helping her family. In the real world, many married couples are living on a shoestring and don't have any extra money. Obviously, this Scripture is conditional upon one's financially situation. Howbeit, most Americans can afford to help the poor in some capacity. If you can afford a VCR, McDonalds, etc...then you can afford to give a dollar or two to someone who is poor. A Gospel tract should always be given as well. In today's world, you have to be very careful about giving beggar's money, as some of them are criminals and may assault you. God is simply saying that a godly woman will not be selfish. Look at all the wealthy people in this world, who horde their money. If they do give anything, it is chump change compared to their hundreds of thousands they own.
Verse 21 - She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

Her kids don't go to school improperly dressed. I've seen kids going to school in 40 degree weather with no coat. Many kids don't have a sense of temperature, and don't care if they have a coat or not. A lazy mother who doesn't care won't even notice her kids improperly dressed. This is irresponsible. A godly mother will keep an eye on her kids at all times. So many mothers are idiots--letting their kids wander out of sight, going to school with no lunch, or doing dangerous things. There are plenty of second-hand stores nowadays (my favorite places to shop). Every child should have a warm coat for the cold weather, and shoes without holes in them.
Verse 22 - She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

She knows how to seduce her own husband. She is an expert at love-making. Many wives fail in this area, not romantically satisfying their husband's needs. To a man, sex is much more than just a physical union. The mental aspects of romance must not be ignored. A wise wife will give her husband the expressions, sensualism, and thrills that he needs. If you don't do it, then your husband will be frustrated. We are living in a whorish generation, where women deliberately try to seduce and tease men. A wise wife realizes this and does her best to be her husbands biggest seducer, and secret lover.
Verse 32 - Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

She is every man's dream. Other men respect her virtue, and loyalty to her husband. They know that this woman is a lady, and she doesn't have the flirting eyes of the silly woman. She is an asset to her husband, and not a liability. Her husband is well respected because of the wife's testimony. So many wives are a reproach to their husbands (1st Timothy 5:14).
Verse 24 - She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

She is industrious and looks for honest ways to earn some extra money. She sees her husband's concerns over finances, and wants to help him if she can. However, in today's world, things are different than from Bible days. It was difficult to find clothing back in Bible days, there were no mass producers of clothing like today. Hence, it would be foolish for a wife to try to make and sell clothing today, which can be bought dirt cheap at the store. It would be better to make something unique, which cannot be found in the stores. The idea is to do something that is going to make money, but not at a loss. There are MANY ways in which wife can earn money. Cleaning businesses are a good market in wealthier areas. You clean people's homes on a weekly basis, etc. Animal-sitting is popular. People drop their dog or cat off, and you watch them while they're on vacation. Please keep in mind that the woman in Proverbs 31 was trying to help her husband. If your husband has a good job, then you don't need to earn extra money. Again, the context of the Scripture is that a godly woman is not a couch-potato who sits around doing nothing. The Bible is not saying that every wife has to make money, not at all. The Bible is simply saying that she stays busy, using her time wisely for the benefit of her family. The applications are limitless.
Verse 25 - Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She has the right priorities in life (Matthew 6:33). She keeps her eyes on Jesus Christ, and knows that there is always light at the end of the tunnel when problems arise. She reads and studies the Bible, meditating upon God's Word throughout the day. She has faith in God. She is able to handle problems which would cause other women to run to shelters or file for divorce. She doesn't run from her problems, she weathers the storms of life. She will one day be happy that she didn't divorce her husband, or cheat on him, when all hope seemed lost. When she couldn't see her hand in front of her face, she didn't give up and quit on her marriage. She is a real trooper, hanging in their when her husband was under Satan's attack. Fifty years ago, a mother could have 10 children and handle all the housework by herself. Today, a mother needs a babysitter, counselor, friends, mother, and the whole neighborhood to raise one brat. Women have lost old fashioned character. Wives nowadays run out the door, go back to mama, and many file for divorce. This is sinful, and an indication of the moral decline in America.
Verse 26 - She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She is no fool. She knows Biblical principles, and has good sense. She keeps her mouth shut most of the time. When she does talk, it's worth hearing. She never curses or uses profane language. She never tells or listens to dirty jokes. She doesn't waste her time talking with shallow people, who like to gossip and slander others. She doesn't gossip or listen to gossip. She never speaks evil of any man. She respects the manhood of other men. I once knew a woman who liked to deride other men by continually referring to her husband as a "real man." This is not Christian. A godly woman respects the manhood of other men; but, she is extremely careful not to directly praise other men. Men are hungry for praise, and for a woman to give them attention. Don't do it ladies. No woman should ever brag on any man other than her husband. The fastest way to anger and hurt your husband is to brag on another man. Every husband wants to be his wife's ONLY hero. However, don't criticize or slander other men either. Every man has his dignity.
Verse 27 - She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

She doesn't eat until her family has eaten. She is in charge of the housework, and knows what is what. She doesn't lose things--she has a place for everything, and puts everything in it's place. She is organized. Her house is clean. She knows all the emergency phone numbers, and is prepared to deal with medical emergencies. She knows the poison hotline. Perhaps she has even taken a CPR and First Aid course. She is careful with food preparation, and washes her hands. Her home is disinfected, and it smells clean. She is careful to wash the dishes correctly, not leaving soap film on the plates. She is careful not to give her husband cracked glasses, or food with hair in it. She doesn't leave her children unattended. She reads to her kids, and listens to them read to her. She knows about nutrition, and her family gets plenty of grain and vegetables. She is careful not to give too many sweets to the family. She knows that fluoride is poison, and filters her families' drinking water. She doesn't like chemicals in the food, so she tries to prepare more homemade meals. The lazy woman will buy nothing but prepared foods, feeding her family loads of sodium and toxic sodium aluminum phosphate (most baking goods). Every wife should be an expert in nutrition. Every wife should read, ask questions, and get informed concerning everything that she is responsible for. I'm amazed how many wives and mothers go about their roles haphazardly.
Verse 28 - Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

How many men are always fighting with their wives because she is lazy? Many! Many men are miserable because of a lazy wife who won't spend 5-minutes in front of a mirror to pretty herself up. I heard a man criticize his wife, saying that she placed them into debt by buying a living room furniture set they didn't need. Another man said he was mowing the lawn on a hot summer day and asked his wife for a glass of water. She said, "Get it yourself" and never brought it. Another man rejoiced when he received an extra bonus check at work, because his wife didn't know about it and wouldn't confiscate it. These men all spake poorly of their wives. The Proverbs 31 woman doesn't make her husband miserable, she is a help instead of a burden. So many married men are miserable, including Christian men, because of lazy lackadaisical wives. Often, even the children get upset with her, because she blames the kids for her faults. I've heard mothers curse at their children, screaming and yelling at them, like they were criminals. This is sinful. What does your husband say about you?
Verse 29 - Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Very few, and I mean very few, women are like the Proverbs 31 woman. Very few husbands are truly happy in their marriage. So many wives lie to their husbands, being deceitful and hiding things from him. I feel sorry for the man who's wife waits 10 years to tell him some bad news, breaking his heart. Those are horrible words when a wife says, "There's something I should have told you 10 years ago." What a horrible thing to do to a man. There was a wife who led her husband to believe that she was a virgin before they married. They were both Christians and had never dated anyone except each other. The wife decided after 7 years of marriage to tell her husband that she was sexually molested by a much older step brother when she was a little girl. The husband was forever devastated. As you can imagine, that permanently destroyed any family relations. The man never spoke to the wife's family again. The wife should have kept her mouth shut. Better yet, she should have told her husband before they married what had happened. She might as well have shot that poor man in the head, because he wished he were dead when she dropped the bomb on him. I've heard testimonies from men of their wives stealing from their them, cleaning out the bank account, destroying their personal property, lying to them, using the courts against them, dragging meddling people into the marriage, etc, etc, etc.. So sad, so tragic, so evil.
Verse 30 - Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

We are living in a sex-perverted generation where girls are trained at the earliest age to be whores. The godless music being aimed at young girls is being produced and sung by Satan worshippers like Madonna, and lascivious causing perverts like Britney Spears, Hilary Duff, Jessica Simpson, etc. Truly, beauty is only skin deep. One day, all their physical beauty will fade, and an old broken body will be all that remains. Death is inevitable (Romans 6:23). The sinful world worships youth, and the rebellion of youth. 1st John 2:15-17 plainly teaches that the world and the lusts thereof will all pass away. Nothing will matter 100 years from now except what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Jesus as your personal Savior, as payment for your sins; or will you reject Christ, and die in your sins?
Verse 31 - Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31 Woman

I have been reading alot of blogs about woman wanting to be the Proverbs 31 woman well here is something i have read about it and all the scripture to go with it.

What is a "Proverbs 31 woman"? It is a woman who is pleasing to God; and in order to be pleasing to God (in the case of a married woman), she must be obedient and committed to her husband's happiness. She must be committed to the well being and safety of her children, to loving them, and to promoting their spiritual growth. No feminist is a Proverbs 31 woman! No whorish, above the skirt wearing floozy, is is a Proverbs 31 woman! She is NOT pleasing to God. No lazy wife, who causes her husband grief, is a Proverbs 31 woman. Let's go through these Scriptures and find out exactly what the Word of God defines as a Proverbs 31 woman, a godly woman. Most articles on the Proverbs 31 woman which I have read don't say much, so I'm going to break it down, and give it to you in simple terms.
Verse 10 - Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
All the money in the world cannot buy loyalty. Wealthy men may have their whores and mistresses; but, money cannot buy genuine love, which is a gift from God. A woman of God is virtuous, wears dresses (modest clothing), and knows the dangers of teasing the opposite sex. Many women today are horribly malicious, actually enjoying teasing married men to lust upon them. Can you imagine how hot Hell will be for such home-wreckers if they die without Christ as Savior? Of course, God doesn't want anyone to die in their sins (2nd Peter 3:9).
Verse 11 - The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Many men don't trust their wives; therefore, they have separate bank accounts, hide the mail, keep things from their wife, etc. You'd be shocked if you knew just how many married couples don't trust each other. I know a man who won't let his wife touch the mail because she loses it, or hides things from him. Many angry wives have cleaned out the bank account and skipped town. One man told me that his wife stole $10,000 from their account, money they had agreed would be spent to pay bills. One of the first things many sinful wives do when they get angry at their husbands is to hurt him financially (cause him spoil).
Verse 12 - She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Again, many wives hurt their husbands when they get angry. Nothing is more devastating to a man, than to find out that his wife gave her body to another man. The wife's body belongs only to her husband (1st Corinthians 7:4). Adultery is a horrible sin in the sight of God, and the excruciating emotional pains last a LIFETIME for the betrayed spouse. Many wives lie to their husbands, being deceitful behind his back, slander him, and dragging people into their marriage problems. This is all evil.
Verse 13 - She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

In modern times, we are blessed with inexpensive clothing. This Verse simply means that her children are well dressed for the weather, and for the occasion. I do believe that one of the great lost arts is that of making clothing. I think all girls should learn how to make sweaters, knit, and crochet. I think every girl should learn to cook without the microwave. We are living in a lazy and wasteful generation, who don't know how to do anything for themselves...so they spend a lot of extra money for convenience sake.
Verse 14 - She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

She knows how to cook, she learns the recipes, and can cook things that are popular in other cultures. She wants to give her family the best. No wife has an excuse not to be a great cook. There are free recipes online for everything from eggrolls, to Mediterranean dishes.
Verse 15 - She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

She is not lazy, she does what needs to be done. This woman in Proverbs got up before the sun did, and fed her family. I have known children who went to school hungry because of a lazy mother, who didn't feel like getting up to make breakfast. I've known husbands who ate at McDonalds regularly, because of a lazy wife who didn't think to make him a lunch. I knew a man who got food poisoning, because his lazy wife didn't properly care for the food before making his lunch. Every wise woman should have a desire to learn about food-born-illnesses, and how to prevent them.
Verse 16 - She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

A little thought needs to go into this Verse. It is obvious that no wife would make such a big financial decision without her husband's involvement. I believe this Verse relates back to Verses 11 and 12. It simply means that she has good judgment, and she is able to think for herself, and can; therefore, help her husband in many ways. Contrary to the popular feminist fantasy concerning home-makers; God-fearing woman, who obey their husbands, and stay at home, can make intelligent decisions.
Verse 17 - She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

She is physically active; not a couch potato. One of the reasons many women have strokes and heart attacks is because they live a sedentary lifestyle. The Proverbs 31 woman doesn't smoke cigarettes, she takes care of herself, and sets the proper example for her children to follow. It is certainly a good idea for woman to exercise, and I don't believe there is anything wrong with a woman exercising at local women's only fitness center (provided that proper attire is worn).
Verse 18 - She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

She works long hours into the night sometimes; but, she doesn't ignore her health. She does get adequate sleep at night (and perhaps a nap in the day). I believe moms need a 1-2 hour nap in the afternoon. She is a balanced woman. She works hard; but knows when to take a break. She is good at what she does because she has made an art of the things in her life. She is an expert at romance, cooking, and taking care of the home. Of course, this takes several years to achieve. You can't do everything at once. Every wife is either improving or slacking off.
Verse 19 - She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

She is not lazy. The proverbs 31 woman stays busy, she doesn't sit around loafing all day. Many women sit home watching soap operas, smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, surfing the internet; yet, they don't do their duties as a wife and a mother. Every working husband should come home to a waiting wife, who happily greets him at the door, and rolls out the red carpet for him. I feel sorry for the children who have to go to school, while mom stays in bed sleeping. If a wife doesn't have to work outside the home, then she should earn her keep. Shame on those lazy wives who don't care for the home, while their husbands faithfully go to work every day and pay the bills. No husband should have to continually ask his wife to clean the house, and to pick up after herself. No husband should smell dishes stinking in the sink when he comes home, or see piles of dirt which haven't been picked up off the floor.
Verse 20 - She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

The last on modesty

Dressing modestly will not get you to heaven. It will not make you a “better” person and it will not save your soul. What it will do is display obedience to the Word of God. It will reflect a heart that is submitted to Him and a desire to dress “to the glory of God!”

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31


It is a sad day indeed when God´s chosen people flaunt their nakedness shamelessly all in the name of “Christian Liberty.” We live in a day when His precious sons and daughters wreak of the world and resemble more the heathen, than the elect.

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate…2 Corinthians 6:17

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light: 1 Pet 2:9

The feminist cry from our heathen society is, “But it´s MY body and MY choice how I dress!! I´ll do what I want!” Is the cry much different from our congregations? “But it´s MY Christian Liberty to dress the way I want! Legalism! I will do what I think is right!”

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Romans 6:1-2

Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. Romans 6:13

Should we have the “liberty” to pick and choose what is worth obeying?

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. II Timothy 3:16

Sisters, let us repent of our arrogance and rebellion. Let us turn to the Lord with a humble and contrite heart and may the God of mercy grant us pardon for our worldly and selfish desire to dress contrary to the glory of God.

If you haven´t honestly and earnestly sought God in how He would have you dress, then I urge you dear sisters to do so now! I pray God gives you the grace to walk and dress as befits a child of the King. In so doing, you are considering your brother, loving your neighbor and honoring your God.

And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another. II John 1:5

By the grace of Him Who saved me, may I seek to give Him honor and glory in all that I do…and yes, all that I wear. “Take my will and make it Thine – It shall be no longer mine!”

modesty part 4

This has been copied and are not my own words.

According to the Westminster Assembly´s Larger Catechism:

Q. 138. What are the duties required in the seventh commandment? A. The duties required in the seventh commandment are, chastity in body, mind, affections, words, and behavior, and the preservation of it in ourselves and others; watchfulness over the eyes and all the senses; temperance, keeping of chaste company, modesty in apparel; marriage by those that have not the gift of continency, conjugal love, and cohabitation; diligent labor in our callings; shunning all occasions of uncleanness, and resisting temptations thereunto.

Q. 139. What are the sins forbidden in the seventh commandment? A. The sins forbidden in the seventh commandment, besides the neglect of the duties required, are, adultery, fornication, rape, incest, sodomy, and all unnatural lusts; all unclean imaginations, thoughts, purposes, and affections; all corrupt or filthy communications, or listening thereunto; wanton looks, impudent or light behaviour, immodest apparel… and all other provocations to, or acts of uncleanness, either in ourselves or others.

Although immodesty and nakedness is at an all time high in our country, it is not new to sinful man. John Bunyan preached against immodesty in his day as well! Consider his words:

“Why are they for going with their…naked shoulders, and paps hanging out like a cow´s bag? Why are they for painting their faces, for stretching out their neck, and for putting of themselves unto all the formalities which proud fancy leads them to? Is it because they would honor God? Because they would adorn the gospel? Because they would beatify religion, and make sinners to fall in love with their own salvation? No, no, it is rather to please their lusts…I believe also that Satan has drawn more into the sin of uncleanness by the spangling show of fine clothes, than he could possibly have drawn unto it without them. I wonder what it was that of old was called the attire of a harlot: certainly it could not be more bewitching and tempting than are the garments of many professors this day.”

My, my, wouldn´t John Bunyan be shocked by the “bewitching and tempting” garments of today´s “professors?”

From what we have found in Scripture, long dresses, long skirts, long robes, long and loose culottes or even pants [IMHO - I have to totally disagree here about the pants ;-)]if they can be described as long, loose and flowing (and not sheer) would be modest and feminine. Can short or tight skirts be described as long and flowing? Can shorts be described as long and flowing? What about blue jeans? You might be able to describe them as loose but are you convinced they are long and flowing? Can you describe a skirt that is slit up higher than the length of a dress you could wear decently, as modest? If the dress is too tight to walk without a high slit, maybe the dress is too tight to wear!


Therefore we are certain that God commands Christian women to dress modestly, to dress like women in a feminine manner and to not dress as to cause our brother to stumble. We have also learned that Scripture is not up for individual interpretation. God´s Word is the final authority in all we believe, do and think. Don´t allow the world to set your standards of dress!

modesty part 3

This has been copied and are not my own words.

These are all issues we need to seriously consider when choosing our wardrobe. It is clear God wants us to dress in “modest apparel.” But does He leave it up to individual interpretation what "modest apparel" is? My neighbor thinks her leather mini skirts and halter tops are modest because she covers the important" areas. Does the fact that she *feels* she is being modest make it so? What about the pastor's wife who wears short dresses and sits at the front of the church playing the piano as her skirt rises higher and higher? If she has decided in her heart she is being modest, does it make it right? Is everyone supposed to decide what is modest for themselves or does God give us any guidelines at all?

There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. Proverbs 30:12

Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! Isaiah 5:21


In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, (katastole) with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 1Timothy 2:9

What does the Greek word “katastole” (apparel) mean? In our modern society, the word apparel could mean a bikini! Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words tells us “katastole” is connected with “katastello,” which means "to send or let down, to lower" (kata, "down," stello, "to send"), was primarily a garment let down; hence, "dress, attire," in general (cf. stole, a loose outer garment worn by kings and persons of rank.) This describes a long, flowing robe-type garment.

The only time the word “katastole” is used is when it is describing how a woman is to dress AND it is a verse that is specifically addressing modesty. It describes a LONG, FLOWING, LOOSE, outer garment. All other references to “apparel” in the New Testament are gender neutral. They simply mean “clothing” or “to clothe.” We are to understand that as women, our clothing should be long, flowing and loose.

modesty part 2

This has been copied and are not my own words.

Many times we seem to be asking, “How much can I get away with before it is considered sin? How many articles of clothing may I shed before it´s considered wrong? How tight is too tight? How short is too short? How low is too low?” Instead my question to you today is, “What is God´s best?” Let us reason together and see what God´s Word tells us.

First of all, the Bible is clear that God wants His daughters to dress modestly.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

We as women love to adorn ourselves. Before redemption, many of us “adorned” ourselves in provocative clothing that was purposely intended to entice and seduce men. Some may have adorned themselves in costly jewelry or expensive clothing to pridefully flaunt their wealth or status to others. How does God say we should “adorn” ourselves? “In modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…” We must honestly ask ourselves (and our husbands!) if this describes our current wardrobe. The Christian woman should not be "focused" on outward appearance. Men are attracted to the female form. If we´re showing ours off, purposely or not, we´re not being modest! Shorts show off legs. Plain and simple. Tight or low blouses show off other things. Pants can also show off the crotch area and the bottom. (I don't know how to say that more politely!)

Secondly, God wants us to dress like women and be delightfully feminine (the way he designed for us to be). In case you haven´t noticed, God made men and women drastically different! It´s a shameful crime when society succeeds in convincing little girls they should be tough, ambitious and masculine and little boys that they should be soft, effeminate and pretty. It starts out with a few “innocent” twists of God´s design for men and women. Then this same evil deception and perversion leads to those fools who are under the delusion that they are “women trapped in men´s bodies” and “men trapped in women´s bodies.”

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are an abomination unto the LORD thy God. Deuteronomy 22:5

Although I believe this Scripture is specifically referencing the Transvestite, what else can we learn here? Go to your local mall and watch the teenaged girls dressing and carrying themselves like gangster boys! Baggy jeans, t-shirts, short messy hair, pierced body parts! When we smudge the clear lines of the differences in the sexes, this is where we end up! Open a magazine that has women's business-wear in it. You'll see slightly feminized men's business suits. Even the shoes look like men's! If it's a business suit with a skirt, then the skirt is short and sexy and the rest looks manly! We have a wonderful medley of masculinity AND immodesty all packaged nicely for today´s modern career woman!

Thirdly, we do not want to be responsible for causing a brother to stumble. Sadly, few ladies consider their brother when choosing their attire. “It´s his problem if he lusts!” is the more common reply.


But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:28


Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. Romans 14:13


It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak. Romans 14:21

modesty part 1

This has been copied and are not my own words.

Ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy… Leviticus 11:44

Joel and Marian joyfully stand up on the fourth pew at the church in which they were married 50 years earlier. Their two grandsons, 15 and 17, along with their parents, stand beside them. The oldest smiles at his grandmother and whispers, “Happy Anniversary” as he turns the pages of the old beloved hymnal, preparing to sing Marian´s favorite hymn, Take My Life and Let It Be Consecrated. My, how times have changed in this old church since the day she married Joel. It used to be that young ladies dressed discreetly. Even if Christian modesty was not practiced at home, it was certainly respected in the worship service. Now today, 50 years later, she must cast her eyes downward, hoping her grandsons do the same, as the 3 young ladies in the pew in front of them wiggle their way to their seats. Short skirts and tight clothing leave little to the imagination. When did immodesty and nakedness creep into the church? How was it that God´s people didn´t notice? Was it our complacency or our active participation? “Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord to Thee….”

One of the most controversial topics among Christian women today is the topic of Christian modesty. Why is something that is commanded in Scripture even questioned by God´s people? How could we, as a “Christian” nation, have degenerated so far in such a short period of time? Less than 100 years ago women would have been arrested for wearing what some ladies would unflinchingly wear to a worship service today! To our degradation, modesty and femininity are no longer common, or, in many cases, even desirable.

There is much we could discuss concerning modesty and the apparel of Christian men and women. However, since I am a woman, I will simply address the issues concerning women. Although it is true that men should dress modestly and decently as well, I will leave such details for discussion amongst the men. Neither will I attempt to delve into whether or not it is lawful for a woman to wear pants. Instead, my desire is to challenge you, my sisters in the Lord, to reevaluate what God´s Word says concerning modesty.

Way to much to blog about.

I have so much to blog about i could blog on 10 diffrent things.I have so much i just need to get of my chest.I seem to never have enough time or just way to many and dont know were to begin.This bloging has become away for me to express my self and get some things out.It is so nice i guess i need to start bloging while the kids are in bed.It just seems like once i start i can go all day.i so wish i could just blink and all the things i need to do be done.HA HA like that will ever happen.well i have ti=o go get the kids in the bed i hope to write some more to night but if not maybe in the morn

How Crazy is your home?

Okay okay i know all homes get crazy from now and then !Mine seems like it has been crazy for the past 5 days.It seems like nothing cant stay clean why is that? I wish i had the magic answer.It all started friday the day my dh came home i got up mopped cleaned up and the house was not perfect but presentable.Well by saturday it looked like some one had went threw and ransacked our home.what happened from friday to sat?I did get the laundry room painted but that was it!!!!! It was the only clean room in the house.Sunday is a church day and we help to run a bus at church so we are at church from 9 to 9 so we come in i run to the grocrey store come in and cook. I look around and shake my head i just couldnt belive my house! Well my dh has to leave monday morn so we well he got his self all packed and we go to bed and i hate he has to leave in the morn and see the house looking so bad!!! It was bad i was so ashamed.So i get up monday and get the main rooms clean i dont touch our bedrooms i said we will do them tuesday.Ha ha tuesday i laid around i took 2 naps i was so give out i just couldnt get with it!!!! so here i was feeling guilty if my dh came home i would die he had to leave looking at the mess and i sure didnt want him to come home to a mess.So the bedrooms are a mess so wensday i get up and we get them cleaned well my oldest did hers the younger one is still working on hers.I will probaly have to go in there and do it my self and it makes me so mad!!!!I clean it up and then bam they dont care.I have tried to just let it set there and It just gets worse.And looks bad on my part i just dont know what to do.i have tried spanking taking things away to grounding her.she is almost 8 she can clean her room.Are things perfect no there still some things that need to be done a good scrub but at least it is good to they eye just dont open the cabniets i so neeed to go threw them.It seems as if i clean but it still doesnt look clean why is that?Any one got any tips.

Friday night

My dh made it home.What a great way to start the week end.I got to go to a ladies meeting and let me tell you God showed up.Man it was so good it was one of those were you cry so hard your head hurts.It was so worth the head hurting.I cant wait till sunday now.God is so faithful.It is so nice to know he is only a prayer away.and not just a prayer but a heart felt humble prayer.He is my best freind.He will never leave you nor forsake you.How great is that.I can not even begin to put into words how i feel about the Lord and what all he has done for me and my family.HE has given me a joy like i have never known a peace that is unspeakable.A love that goes so deep for others that it dont seem real.I stand amazed is about all i can say.

COMMMENTS ARE WELCOMED

A friend and i was talkeing and she gets so many hits on her blog but not many comments are left.She has an awesome blog might i add.Me being new to this i see the same thing people stop by and read but no comments left why is that?Well i thought why not blog to let others know comments are so welcomes even if they are annyomous.I love to here from others and it gives me a chance to look at others blogs also.Comments are always welcomed and i enjoy reading what othera have to say and think.so please feel welcome to post .

I CANT WAIT TILL FRIDAY

Friday just cant get here fast enough.My dh will be home.I have so much i need to do before he gets home.like wash our bed covers i hope to have the laundry room painted.Floors mopped.Its 5:00 here and i need this done by tonight.will i get done?I don't know but we will see.As of right now the kids are driving me crazy and i mean crazy the little ones are into everything.I cant get nothing done well i do and then they go threw like a tornado.Like i said they are driving me crazy.okay i better run i have so much to do and the kids are going crazy in there.Time to go be a referee.one of the many hats i wear.

PART 7 THE LAST ROUND WITH CANCER

I was holding her had as i told her i would I prayed as all the nurses gathered around aloud and i don't do that But God showed up and filled that room and as she meet the Lord when her last breath was taken my soul shouted i mean it was like my inside screamed Glory!!!!!! And my heart started singing what a day that will be when my Jesus i shall see when i look upon His face the one who saved me by his grace.when He takes me by the hand and leads me to that promise land what a day glorious day that will be.SO i new when she meet him and had crossed that old chilly Jordan river.Because he put that song in my heart at that very moment.So now my mom was healed and here i was dieing inside cancer was affecting me in ways i could not see.IT was lurking around my dreams and thoughts.as i would close my eyes i would see it. i would see every thing it had done in that last 3 years the hurt the pain the sickness.It was like it wouldn't stop. it was taking control over me running my life no one seen what it had done to me not even my hubby .still to this day I don’t think he knows what it did to me. I was in the fight still after she was gone it was affecting me and my family my kids and hubby even my walk with the Lord. I had fought it for almost 2 more years after my mom passed. It had eat at me and eat at me. Then I finally laid it down I seen I had no control the only one who did was the Lord not me. I realized I didn’t have to fight this thing called cancer any more the Lord would do it for me. And he did and he won so there for I won .yes I did I won the battle. Cancer no longer has a hold on me. God is the only thing that has a hold on me. So that is my fight against cancer.

PART 6 THE FINAL DAYS

i will go with her till she meets Him.every morn i see her sitting up smiling out the window she says she talked with the Lord.Oh how it brings a smile to my face.things start to go down .AS i wash her and i clean the tumors my heart breaks.as i so carefully clean these tumors i hate them so and yet i have to treat them with the care of a newborn baby.my mom would Lay there and rub her hands up and down her chest not touching it just over it begging me to cut them out she would cry they burn they burn.please cut them out.All i could do was beg God please make them stop.I wanted to make them stop so bad here i am fighting inside against something i can not control in any way.you could put you hand above her chest and feel the heat coming from the tumors.My moms breast cancer was a rare aggressive kind she was blessed to have fought it for 3 years.It came to the surface and would bust open she said her chest felt like some one had a blow torch in there.the tumors had taken over they were from her neck down to her waste and had started to move to her shoulders and down her back.her chest looked like burnt leather.i wish i could have took the pain away.It got to were we could no longer control it at home and we were able to get her in to a hospice group.They came to get her and that was the last time she was able to speak to me and she looked into my eyes and it was like our souls were talking she said I'm scared!!!That killed me you don't think at 27 you will have to hear your mom say in voice so soft and pure almost pure like a child's I'm scared and see that it is coming straight from the soul.No one was riding with her she was alone.And i had promised her i would be there.SO there was a war going on inside of me.Needles to say all this had been going on for a week. June the 26 she went into the hospital and came home that Friday and was with me from Friday till Wednesday when she left to go to hospice.When i got to the place they had her on a pump for the pain and she was out.she tried and tried to open her eyes and couldn't at one point she did and was able to mumble she loved me.Then back out she went.As i sit beside her cleaning the tumors they are making me sick its like they were multiplying.i payed and prayed God you have to something i could not take any more.But as i prayed that i still did not want to let go.That was my momma she was 51 she was not suppose to die i was suppose to have my momma till i got old.Well fin aly on that Friday I came to a place with the Lord it was right after lunch i sat there wiping the blood from my moms mouth her lungs were feeling up fast.It was then That the Lord showed up I had begged him to heal her and i believed he would i just wanted it to be on this side and not in Heaven but he thought Heaven was a better place to heal her .So you see she git her healing it was just as she went to meet Jesus he gave her a new body.NO cancer up there IT was gone he had won the Battle against it up in heaven .Okay i prayed at that moment Lord i can t do this Any more i Let her go i told her it was okay to go i would be okay.

PART 5

It had to see my mama my heart was racing and i was mad needless to say i was not going to let this cancer do this she wanted to come home and she was.If i could have went onto a boxing ring with cancer i would have killed it i had so much anger and hate along with hurt in me i could have done damage just wiped it out!!!!well so i thought i could.As i r=write this i play that night over i remember it all every detail as i sit here i can feel all those emotions i can even smell what it smelled like at that point in time.We get there and she is out i hit my knees and beg God please just let her come to so i can tell her i love her one last time.she was hanging on by a thread .My pastor had called me and the my associate pastor and they were all praying.I knew there were some people that were getting a hold of God.They were ringing heavens bell.I could fell the prayers as they were going up.You could see my mom fighting hard she was trying her best to open her eyes but she couldn't you would see her eyebrows go up she was fighting hard and in my heart i was fighting to .Then my son woke up and i laid him next to her and said momma Christopher is here he is laying beside you and i want you to know he can see the Lord has touched him momma.she really started to fight as he laid next to her and it was like in a split second she had opened her eyes.The joy that i felt was so UN real the docs couldn't believe it. her blood pressure was 60 over 40 she was out.There is just one thing God was in control not me not the doc but he was.there is something in the innocence of a child a pureness a child that has faith and trust the Lord a child that has no fears God used that baby in his pureness to touch her i believe like the woman that had the blood disorder that said if i can just touch the hem of his garment.I seen God touch my mom at that very moment.when she couldn't come to him He came to her.Here is were me and cancer came face to face.My mom got just well enough to bring her home. i flew home got the room ready to bring my mommy home.she arrived in the transport van. When the pulled her out i looked deep into her eyes and said momma your home.She smiled the happiest smile you had ever seen.i sit by her side day in and day out feed her and bathe her. I pray with her she looks at me and says i don't want to go alone as she hols my hand i Tell her i want let go i will hole on to her till Jesus take g=her hand.

PART 4 THE NEWS WAS....................

HE CAN SEE!!!!!HE CAN SEE BETTER THAN WHAT MOST BABY'S CAN AT THAT AGE!!!!PRAISE THE LORD!!!!GOD HAD Answered prayers someone had got threw to him and he reached down and touched my boy.

so here it was the 4 year mark of my mother in laws passing and we got some great new.Our son was healed.God had done it again he had made the blind to see.People think he still don't do miracles like that any more well he does i have a 2 year old that proves that with eagle eyes.I call my mom to share the news and something wasn't right she wasn't acting right i new something was wrong i begged her to go to the doc she had moved 2 hours away from me.So i couldn't just run over to here House any more.she said she had had chemo and was just sick so i said i will call and if thing ain't better I'm coming up there to take you my self.The next day i call and she don't sound any better sh tells me i have an apt Monday so i said i will ride up and go with her. She said okay and then started to cry saying i just want to come home so i said i will be there Monday and get you and you Will live with me and i will be happy to drive you to all your apts that are were she was living .I knew this thing was fighting hard and i knew i was going to bring my mom home and it wasn't going to stop me.the nest day which was a Sunday i get in from church and the doc calls and says i need to get up there my mom want make it threw the night.my heart stopped she was out she couldn't talk at all.So here i was me and my sis and my 4 month old was on our 2 hour trip to get to mama.

PART 3 MY FIGHT AGAINST CANCER

yes i said baby boy after 3 girls we were having a boy .Might i add the Lord is Good even when we are low he is so GOOD! My dh got another job we were struglling but it was okay so i thought.That december right before my son was to be born my mom was given 6 months to live.Needless to say she did not tell me or any one.She new i was a hight risk and did not want me upset.She did start making planns .I thought she was just trying to get things in order so we would not have to do anything when the time did caome much much latter on.That feb the 6 I had my son and man was he handsome a spitting image of his dad.There are somethings that remind me of my mom like his dark dark skin he got it from my mom .SHe was part indian.I rember when she ould come stay alll night with me she would just hold him and look at him and cry.she knew she would not get to watch him grow up. Were as me i thought it was just that she was so happy we finally had a boy.We soon learned that my son his eyes were not devloped. he couldnt see.We done what we only new to do turn to God and trust him.Here i was in this fight for my family my dh and his hurt and my mom and now my son.man it seemed like this Cancer thing was hitting me left and right i couldnt get away. I wanted so bad at times to run run hard and as fast as i could.But i couldnt i was in this fight till the end and i was determind to win. i remeber the day it was june 24 the day my mother in law had passed away it had been 4 years.We took my son to back to they eye doc to get the final results.he was getting ready to be 5 months old.We got The news... ARE YOU READY TO HEAR WHAT IT WAS????????????

PART 2

Not only did cancer affect my mother in law it hurt my dear hubby and one of the sweetest sister in laws a person could ever ask for.One that Loves the Lord with her whole heart and walks daily with him.So you see cancer had done crossed the line with me it was war it had hurt 3 close people to me and now had started on my mom!!!!!Needless to say me and that nasty thing ain't friends at all.As things seem after my moms first removal of right breast we thought we can do it we are going to win this.well what do you know a year after she found out she had this nasty thing .My sweet girl Bethany grace was born. i was so thankful my mom was able to be there i just wish my mother in law could have been.Actually she was my little Bethany grace looks so much like her and her dad it ain't funny.if you seen my other 2 you would see why they look just like me.blond hair well mine ain't no more and blue eyed.well Bethany grace has brown hair and brown eyes when i look at her i see my mother in law. she was born 6 days before Nana's b-day so i think Nana is all in Bethany you see it in the eyes.okay the story continues my dh company had shut there doors and he got another job well a year after Bethany was born what do you know we find out we are having another one!!!!!We were shocked i mean shocked we thought we were done after the 3rd and all the thing that we had to do to get her here.well The Lord blessed us yet again.Then my dh comes home one day and i thought we were on our way up 3 kids another on the way my mom was doing good he had a job then bam he comes home and says he lost his job!!!WHAT i thought you better be telling me a joke.well it wasn't a joke.so here i was preg with our 4th child and trying to be by my moms side as she was fighting this thing we call cancer.i was due to have my baby boy Feb 22 2005.

MY FIGHT AGAINST CANCER PART ONE

Here is just s few of the things that I have to say about cancer. First I hate it!!!! I hate every thing about it. Do I have cancer no I don’t have I ever had it no. I pray to God that I never do .I have fought against this ugly thing for the last 5 years!!!! You see cancer came to know me in many ways. Our battle began the first round that is 5 years and a month ago. Here me and my dh were trying to have our 3rd child which we only had a 10% chance to have. And blame cancer came to our front door. My dh mom started having blood clots she looked fine. Well with in 2 weeks she went home to be with the Lord it turned out she had adenoma carcinoma lung cancer. I seen my dh go to the lowest place in his life. I was very close with my mother in law she was like a mom to me. she was very active in our life's.It was a suden hit .After her passing my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer.I mean a week with in each other.So as you see this was the start of a long fight..As i prepared myself well so i thought her i was standing by mom moms side as she battles this ugly thing.What do you know the Lord blessed us with another little girl.So her we were my dh lost his mom to cancer then his company shut there doors and his wife was finally preg with there 3rd child.What were we going to do.And on top of me finally being preg my mom has cancer.so the battle is on!!!You see me i hate that stuff i hate it from deep with in my soul.

I WILL POST THE REST IN PARTS THIS WAS REALLY LONG SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASIER TO READ IN PARTS.

Part 2 of the past 2 years.

Well it was a night i will never forget.After praying for hours i felt that heavy load go away.I knew things were different.My dh travels with his job so he was away during this time and of coarse we were still fighting like crazy.There is one thing i know.When you get real with the Lord he shows up.That next day my 3 year old was jumping on the trampoline not hard at all.Then all of a sudden you here her scream.I run out and call my dh.He is in ca at the time.I run her to the er and what do you know she has broke her leg right under her knee cap.So her i was alone with 4 kids my dh in ca and he cant get a flight home and my 3 year ole with a broke leg in a cast that covers her entire leg.Well lets just say it was hard but during that time the Lord showed me so much.Here i was alone no one to share this heavy load my mom gone my dh traveling and me alone with 4 kids from age 10 down to 2.I couldn't figure out what the Lord was doing but in knew he was doing something.Well after that long 6 weeks i seen what he was doing he was making me lean on him.I had no one but him the way the Lord wants it .He wants us to lean on him.Since that march day he has done so much for me.Threw all that he has given me a joy that i can not put into words.A love for my dh like i have ever known.and my kids.I have been with my dh for around 16 years and Iam more in love with him today then i have ever been.All this by trusting the Lord and leaning on him He has taken the fears and hurt away.Now when my dh leaves instead of thanking God he is gone and dreading when he comes home. I cant wait till he gets home i miss him so much. I love to just be with him.I cant wait to grow old and sit with him and laugh.So in a nut shell threw the loss of my mom and the fighting of my dh and I.The breaking of my daughters leg.The Lord has showed me i need to only serve Him and make Him happy no one Else i need to live for him.My joy doesn't come from others or things it comes from the Lord.